It must be January. Not because it's so hot, the tennis is on, and the traffic is slightly better in Melbourne at the moment. Because my patients tell me so. Because they have endured Christmas, and now feel the pain. They have spent time with their families, and this hasn't always been a great thing.
Why do we feel compelled to 'celebrate' with those who push our buttons and trigger our vulnerabilities? It's common for some patients to strengthen throughout the year, resolve to rise above dysfunctional dynamics, be confident in their decisions, only to undo this on 25 December. They feel obligated, emotional blackmail is unleashed and they spend time with those they avoid for 364 days of the year. The in-law, the grandparent, the cousin, somebody who has caused pain in the past is bestowed way too much power, and all is unleashed as if it was yesterday.
Somebody once told me that Psychiatrists invented Christmas to ensure there was plenty of work to do in a slow, cold European winter. More than just a joke. Time to roll up my sleeves and offer some healing for the next few months.
